Parenting with bipolar disorder without guilt is something that’s basically impossible to do. This blog post isn’t going to tell you some secret or something surrounding parenting with bipolar disorder without guilt. But hopefully what it gives you is hope and the feeling that you’re not going through this journey alone. You’re not on this path of parenting with bipolar disorder alone. We’re in it together. All of us. Each person reading this.
The Hidden Guilt Bipolar Parents Carry
Bipolar parents (or, parents living with bipolar disorder, as I prefer) are facing such intense obstacles every single day just trying to be a typical, normal adult. Then, add parenting on top of it. You, of course, want to be the best role model for your child and therefore hold yourself to such intense standards. Your child deserves the absolute best and you feel it’s your job to deliver. Right?
I relate to these feelings so much. Sometimes I have so so much guilt about being a mom with bipolar disorder. Guilt from the thought of “oh no, are my children going to have this awful illness?” but also guilt from not being the best version of myself each and every day.
I won’t lie to you guys; some days are pretty bad for me. Bipolar depression is the one I struggle with mostly. In fact, my like “normal” is low. Then, I just get lower. It’s awful. And then, on top of that, I have three children. They look to me for everything. I feel so much guilt over not being what I feel they deserve. That hidden guilt people living with bipolar disorder who are parents carry is so intense. Wow, that was a long sentence. I’m trying to say that guilt that no one else understands and maybe you don’t even know how to explain it… you’re not alone. I feel it too.
You Are Not Your Episodes
Let’s quickly remind ourselves at this point that we aren’t our bipolar disorder. We are people living with bipolar disorder. We aren’t our illness. We are people.
Beautiful, vibrant, chaotic, messy people. So when you’re feeling that parenting with bipolar disorder without guilt is hard, take a moment to remind yourself that you are not your episodes. You are not your bipolar disorder. Just as I am not mine. We are just humans living and experiencing life for the very first time.
The Myth of the “Perfect Parent”
Also, I could do without all the perfect parent pressure anyways. Don’t you agree? I don’t think our children need to see perfection. I think they need to see real.
And therefore, be able to develop coping tools to deal with the real. There isn’t a perfect parent so why do we keep feeling guilty about not being exactly that? The perfect parent. We aren’t. I’m not. And you’re not. And, that’s also so beautifully okay.
Finally
In the end, parenting with bipolar disorder without guilt is likely nearly impossible. But I encourage you to challenge yourself about feeling that guilt. That’s what I’m working on. Is the guilty feeling warranted? Have I done something wrong or am I just simply existing as I am? Do I need to feel guilty about existing? No, I don’t. And you don’t either.
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